Moms Who Drink and Swear

Moms Who Drink and Swear Author Nicole Knepper
ISBN-10 9781101650943
Year 2013-04-02
Pages 336
Language en
Publisher Penguin
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If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

W h ine

W h ine Author Jennifer Todryk
ISBN-10 9781631063350
Year 2017-04-18
Pages 128
Language en
Publisher
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This isn't your ordinary wine pairing book--this is wine pairing for the weary parent! Did your daughter just get out of bed for the twelfth time to ask for a glass of water? We've got the perfect ros� for your sanity. Did your son just have a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store? We've got a Pinot for your pain. Has your child's math homework left you in a state of total depression? Try a Syrah to get you out of that funk. W(h)ine includes fifty perfect pairings to match your child's perfectly rotten behavior! You'll also discover the best ways to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew (hint: use a shoe). As a bonus, each wine featured in the book comes with a sticker, so every time you sample a wine to match a rotten behavior, go ahead and add it to the Periodic Table of W(h)ine that folds out of the book. The sticker groupings will help you determine if your child has behavior problems, attitude problems, or just plain bad DNA! So whether you like your "juice" from the glass, the bottle, or the box, this is the perfect book to wine your way through the joys of day-to-day parenting.

Confessions of a Scary Mommy

Confessions of a Scary Mommy Author Jill Smokler
ISBN-10 9781451673777
Year 2012-04-03
Pages 168
Language en
Publisher Simon and Schuster
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An irreverent assessment of the dark side of parenting combines original essays and anonymous confessions as posted on the ScaryMommy.com site to encourage women to embrace their own parenting approaches without competing with other moms who only seem to have everything under control.

This Is Why We Can t Have Nice Things Parenting Marriage Madness

This Is Why We Can t Have Nice Things   Parenting  Marriage  Madness Author Clint Edwards
ISBN-10 9781483433332
Year 2015-07-06
Pages 214
Language en
Publisher Lulu.com
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"Clint is one of my favorite dad voices today ... He's the perfect combination of LOL funny, completely relatable and down to earth. There's nobody else quite like him!" - Jill Smokler, Scary Mommy "Clint Edwards brings real humor to the unsavory parts of childcare..." - Eli Epstein, Mashable "I always know, when I'm about to read a piece by Clint, that I'll end up nodding my head in agreement..." - Amy Joyce, The Washington Post "Clint Edwards writes about fatherhood in a way that is refreshingly self-deprecating and brilliantly honest. With views on parenting that are often off-beat and unconventional, Clint's work emanates a genuine warmth, enthusiasm and most of all, an unshakeable dedication to being the best father he can be." - Grace Koelma, Kidspot "Clint Edwards is dynamic. As a modern dad, his perspective is refreshing and his knack for stating the obvious and otherwise-not-mentioned is what allows him to connect with his readers." -Lara Bestbier, All4Baby.co.za

I Heart My Little A Holes

I Heart My Little A Holes Author Karen Alpert
ISBN-10 9780062341617
Year 2014-04-08
Pages 304
Language en
Publisher Harper Collins
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Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it's all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he's an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. At times like these, it's only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it's against the law (and there's the suicide hotline). Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.

Motherhood Comes Naturally and Other Vicious Lies

Motherhood Comes Naturally  and Other Vicious Lies Author Jill Smokler
ISBN-10 9781476728384
Year 2013-04-09
Pages 176
Language en
Publisher Simon and Schuster
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From the New York Times bestselling author of Confessions of a Scary Mommy and the wildly popular blog ScaryMommy.com, a hilarious new essay collection that exposes the “vicious lies” that every parent is told. Newly pregnant and scared out of her mind, Jill Smokler lay on her gynecologist’s examination table and was told the biggest lie she’d ever heard in her life: “Motherhood is the most natural thing in the world.” Instead of quelling her nerves like that well intentioned nurse hoped to, Jill was instead set up for future of questioning exactly what DNA strand she was missing that made the whole motherhood experience feel less than natural to her. Wonderful? Yes. Miraculous? Of course. Worthwhile? Without a doubt. But natural? Not so much. Jill’s first memoir, the New York Times bestseller Confessions of a Scary Mommy, rocketed to national fame with its down and dirty details about life with her three precious bundles of joy. Now Jill returns with all-new essays debunking more than twenty pervasive myths about motherhood. She’s here to give you what few others will dare: The truth.

I Want My Epidural Back

I Want My Epidural Back Author Karen Alpert
ISBN-10 9780062427090
Year 2016-04-05
Pages 320
Language en
Publisher HarperCollins
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Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.

Hard to Die

Hard to Die Author Andra Watkins
ISBN-10 0990859371
Year 2016-11-01
Pages 262
Language en
Publisher Word Hermit Press LLC
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Nowhere Series Book 1 An inventive new take on the uncharted fate of Theodosia Burr Alston, the fiery daughter of Alexander Hamilton's murderer Aaron Burr, and subject of "Dear Theodosia" in the Tony Award-winning Broadway musical, Hamilton. This speculative fiction time-warp combines elements of history, the paranormal, and suspense to breathe fresh air into Theodosia's forgotten life and story. By the New York Times best-selling author of Not Without My Father.

I Still Just Want to Pee Alone

I Still Just Want to Pee Alone Author Jen Mann
ISBN-10 0988408066
Year 2015-03-12
Pages 196
Language en
Publisher
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I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone (Pee Alone #3) Don't miss the third book in this bestselling series! Motherhood is STILL the toughest - and STILL the funniest - job you'll ever love. We know that raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful - TGIF means nothing to a mother! You said it before and you're saying it again, "I STILL just want to pee alone!" I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone is ANOTHER collection of hilarious and heartwarming essays from 40 MORE of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Bad Parenting Moments, Let Me Start By Saying, and The Sh*tastrophy. Find essays like: It's Not Pee. It's You. Open Letter to My Daughter: My Mother was Right and You Should Think I Am, Too. And Then God Laughed Flames, Knives, and Fear: A Family Dinner Let's Piss Off the Babies This is Volume 3 of The Pee Alone series.

A Child Called It

A Child Called It Author Dave Pelzer
ISBN-10 9781409124627
Year 2010-06-24
Pages 240
Language en
Publisher Hachette UK
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A harrowing, yet inspiring true story of a young boy's abusive childhood, from internationally bestselling author Dave Pelzer. Dave Pelzer was brutally beaten and starved by his emotionally unstable, alcoholic mother - a mother who played tortuous, unpredictable games. She no longer considered Dave a son, but a slave; no longer a boy, but an 'it'. His bed was an old army cot in the basement, his clothes were torn and unwashed, and when he was allowed the luxury of food it was scraps from the dog's bowl. The outside world knew nothing of the nightmare played out behind closed doors. But throughout Dave kept alive dreams of finding a family to love him. This book covers the early years of his life and is an affecting and inspirational book of the horrors of child abuse and the steadfast determination of one child to survive.

Love Gelato

Love   Gelato Author Jenna Evans Welch
ISBN-10 9781481432542
Year 2016-04-12
Pages 256
Language en
Publisher Simon and Schuster
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"After her mother dies, Lina travels to Italy where she discovers her mothers's journal and sets off on an adventure to unearth her mother's secrets"--

Alcoholics Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous Author Anonymous
ISBN-10 1893007162
Year 2002-02-10
Pages 576
Language en
Publisher AA World Services
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Alcoholics Anonymous (also known as the Big Book in recovery circles) sets forth cornerstone concepts of recovery from alcoholism and tells the stories of men and women who have overcome the disease. The fourth edition includes twenty-four new stories that provide contemporary sharing for newcomers seeking recovery from alcoholism in A.A. during the early years of the 21st century. Sixteen stories are retained from the third edition, including the "Pioneers of A.A." section, which helps the reader remain linked to A.A.'s historic roots, and shows how early members applied this simple but profound program that helps alcoholics get sober today. Approximately 21 million copies of the first three editions of "Alcoholics Anonymous" have been distributed. It is expected that the new fourth edition will play its part in passing on A.A.'s basic message of recovery. This fourth edition has been approved by the General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous, in the hope that many more may be led toward recovery by reading its explanation of the A.A. program and its varied examples of personal experiences which demonstrate that the A.A. program works.

Marry Him

Marry Him Author Lori Gottlieb
ISBN-10 9781101185209
Year 2010-02-04
Pages 336
Language en
Publisher Penguin
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The controversial national bestseller! Nearly forty and single, Lori Gottlieb faced the unthinkable: she'd wasted her best years chasing an elusive Prince Charming who might not even exist. Meanwhile, her friends who'd "settled" for Mr. Good Enough ended up married to excellent husbands and fathers. This is an eye-opening, funny, painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of modern relationships and a wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

The Night of the Gun

The Night of the Gun Author David Carr
ISBN-10 9781471108426
Year 2012-12-11
Pages 400
Language en
Publisher Simon and Schuster
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David Carr was an addict for more than twenty years -- first dope, then coke, then finally crack -- before the prospect of losing his newborn twins made him sober up in a bid to win custody from their crack-dealer mother. Once recovered, he found that his recollection of his 'lost' years differed -- sometimes radically -- from that of his family and friends. The night, for example, his best friend pulled a gun on him. 'No,' said the friend (to David's horror, as a lifelong pacifist), 'It was you that had the gun.' Using all his skills as an investigative reporter, he set out to research his own life, interviewing everyone from his parents and his ex-partners to the policemen who arrested him, the doctors who treated him and the lawyers who fought to prove he was fit to have custody of his kids. Unflinchingly honest and beautifully written, the result is both a shocking account of the depths of addiction and a fascinating examination of how -- and why -- our memories deceive us. As David says, we remember the stories we can live with, not the ones that happened.

All the Bright Places

All the Bright Places Author Jennifer Niven
ISBN-10 9780385755900
Year 2015-01-06
Pages 416
Language en
Publisher Knopf Books for Young Readers
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"A do not miss for fans of Eleanor and Park and The Fault in Our Stars, and basically anyone who can breathe."--Justine Magazine A New York Times bestseller Soon to be a major motion picture starring Elle Fanning! A 2016 Zoella Book Club Pick! Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister’s recent death. When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it’s unclear who saves whom. And when they pair up on a project to discover the “natural wonders” of their state, both Finch and Violet make more important discoveries: It’s only with Violet that Finch can be himself—a weird, funny, live-out-loud guy who’s not such a freak after all. And it’s only with Finch that Violet can forget to count away the days and start living them. But as Violet’s world grows, Finch’s begins to shrink. This is an intense, gripping novel perfect for fans of Gayle Forman, Jay Asher, Rainbow Rowell, John Green, and Jenny Downham from a talented new voice in YA, Jennifer Niven. “At the heart—a big one—of “All the Bright Places” lies a charming love story about this unlikely and endearing pair of broken teenagers.” — New York Times Book Review “…this heartbreaking love story about two funny, fragile, and wildly damaged high school kids named Violet and Finch is worth reading. Niven is a skillful storyteller who never patronizes her characters—or her audience.” — Entertainment Weekly From the Hardcover edition.