This Book Is Full of Spiders

This Book Is Full of Spiders Author David Wong
ISBN-10 9781250017901
Year 2012-10-02
Pages 416
Language en
Publisher Macmillan
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

From the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes. WARNING: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature secretes a chemical into the brain to stimulate skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You can't see it, because it decides what you see. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed. So what happens when your family, friends and neighbors get mind-controlling skull spiders? We're all about to find out. Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.

This Book Is Full Of Spiders Seriously Dude Don t Touch It

This Book Is Full Of Spiders  Seriously Dude Don t Touch It Author David Wong
ISBN-10 9781781164563
Year 2012-10-02
Pages 496
Language en
Publisher Titan Books
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

Fan favourite David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with this blistering sequel to the cult sensation John Dies at the End, now a movie starring Paul Giamatti. As the sequel opens, we find our heroes, David and John, again embroiled in a series of horrifying yet mind-bogglingly ridiculous events caused primarily by their own gross incompetence. The guys find that books and movies about zombies may have triggered a zombie apocalypse, despite a complete lack of zombies in the world. As they race against the clock to protect humanity from its own paranoia, they must ask themselves, who are the real monsters? Actually, that would be the shape-shifting horrors secretly taking over the world behind the scenes that, in the end, make John and Dave kind of wish it had been zombies after all. Hilarious, terrifying, engaging and wrenching, This Book Is Full of Spiders, the next thrilling installment, takes us for a wild ride with two slackers from the midwest who really have better things to do with their time than prevent the apocalypse.

This Book Is Full of Spiders

This Book Is Full of Spiders Author David Wong
ISBN-10 9780312546342
Year 2012-10-02
Pages 406
Language en
Publisher Macmillan
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

David and John become embroiled in a new set of horrific but absurd challenges when movie-induced zombie phobia enables a nefarious shape-shifter race to take over the world.

John Dies at the End

John Dies at the End Author David Wong
ISBN-10 9780857686220
Year 2011-09-08
Pages 480
Language en
Publisher Titan Books
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defence is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part about the bratwurst. Why? You'll just have to trust me. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherwordly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT...

What the Hell Did I Just Read

What the Hell Did I Just Read Author David Wong
ISBN-10 1250040205
Year 2017-10-03
Pages 384
Language en
Publisher St. Martin's Press
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

New York Times bestselling author David Wong takes readers to a whole new level with his latest dark comic horror, set in the world of John Dies at the End and This Book is Full of Spiders. John Dies at the End's "smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next" (Publishers Weekly) and This Book is Full of Spiders was "unlike any other book of the genre" (Washington Post). Now, Wong is back with the third installment of this black-humored thriller series. While investigating a fairly straightforward case of a shapeshifting entity from another dimension snatching local children, the gang realize there might actually be something weird going on. Together they will navigate a hilariously convoluted maze of illusions, lies, and their own incompetence, attempting to uncover a terrible truth they'd be better off not knowing. Equal parts terrifying and darkly comedic in his writing, David Wong “will be remembered as one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist).

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits

Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits Author David Wong
ISBN-10 9781783291854
Year 2015-10-06
Pages 496
Language en
Publisher Titan Books
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

In a prosperous yet gruesomely violent near-future, superhero vigilantes battle thugs whose heads are full of supervillain fantasies. The peace is kept by a team of smooth, well-dressed negotiators called The Men in Fancy Suits. College grad Zoey discovers her scumbag dad was one of the founding members of the Fancy Suits, and quickly becomes entangled in the city's surreal mob war when she is taken hostage by a particularly crazy villain.

Mogworld

Mogworld Author Yahtzee Croshaw
ISBN-10 9781621151593
Year 2008-04-22
Pages 350
Language en
Publisher Dark Horse Comics
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

In a world full to bursting with would-be heroes, Jim couldn't be less interested in saving the day. His fireballs fizzle. He's awfully grumpy. Plus, he's been dead for about sixty years. When a renegade necromancer wrenches him from eternal slumber and into a world gone terribly, bizarrely wrong, all Jim wants is to find a way to die properly, once and for all. On his side, he's got a few shambling corpses, an inept thief, and a powerful death wish. But he's up against tough odds: angry mobs of adventurers, a body falling apart at the seams — and a team of programmers racing a deadline to hammer out the last few bugs in their AI. *Mogworld is the debut novel from video-game icon Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation)! With an exclusive one-chapter preview of Yahtzee Croshaw's next novel, Jam—coming to bookstores in October 2012! *Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw's video review site, Zero Punctuation, receives over 2,500,000 unique hits a month, and has been licensed by G4 Television. *Yahtzee's blog receives about 150,000 hits per day. "The first legitimate breakout hit from the gaming community in recent memory." -Boing Boing

Jam

Jam Author Yahtzee Croshaw
ISBN-10 9781621154433
Year 2012-10-23
Pages 160
Language en
Publisher Dark Horse Comics
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

We were prepared for an earthquake. We had a flood plan in place. We could even have dealt with zombies. Probably. But no one expected the end to be quite so... sticky... or strawberry scented. Yahtzee Croshaw (Mogworld, Zero Punctuation Reviews) returns to print with a follow-up to his smash-hit debut: Jam, a dark comedy about the one apocalypse no one predicted. * The hilarious new novel by the author of Mogworld! * Croshaw's Zero Punctuation Reviews is the most viewed video game review on the web! * For lovers of bizarre horror and unforgettable characters! "[Croshaw is] able to pull off slapstick comedy in print, and that's no easy feat." –ComicsAlliance

Zombology

Zombology Author Brian Anse Patrick
ISBN-10 9781907166914
Year 2014-05-28
Pages 182
Language en
Publisher Arktos
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

In films, television, books, games, pornography, and now even in firearms and ammunition being sold to the American public, zombies are one of the mainstays of the popular culture of our time. Far from being only a passing curiosity, Brian Patrick dissects the zombie, showing it as the articulation of deep-seated fears within the Western psyche, a symbol in fact for the growing dehumanization that many of us observe, or perhaps sense without fully realizing it, in modern civilization. Patrick connects the zombie phenomenon to previous historical occurrences, drawing on both religion and psychology to show how such symbolic tropes that lodge in the collective unconscious of a culture are reflective of the psychological needs of large numbers of people in times of crisis. Patrick likewise shows how zombiedom has manifested particularly in American gun culture, and how this relates to the growth of a large-scale citizens' activist movement in favor of gun rights. Also included are practical tips on how to stay out of the clutches of zombiedom. Zombology is more than just a book about zombies, however. The zombie, for Patrick, is a peculiarly Western phenomenon, and as such, he examines how it can be seen as a manifestation of not-so-abstract forces battling for the future of our civilization: will collectivization or the individual, dream or reality win out? Patrick offers his own diagnosis. "At the very least the zombie adds some much-needed psychic contrast to the cold, to the grey and to the unending. It also provides a face, albeit necrotic, to the seemingly impersonal sociological forces that undermine the West; for in a near-perfect correspondence with the zombie, the West itself appears to be necrotic in a galloping way. Both need brains to ease the pain."-p. 48

Will Save the Galaxy for Food

Will Save the Galaxy for Food Author Yahtzee Croshaw
ISBN-10 9781506701653
Year 2017-02-14
Pages 232
Language en
Publisher Dark Horse Comics
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

A not-quite epic science fiction adventure about a down-on-his luck galactic pilot caught in a cross-galaxy struggle for survival! Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult! From the creator of Mogworld and Jam! Benjamin Richard "Yahtzee" Croshaw is a British-Australian comedic writer, video game journalist, author, and video game developer. He is perhaps best known for his acerbic video game review series, Zero Punctuation, for The Escapist.

Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody

Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody Author Robert Brockway
ISBN-10 9780307464354
Year 2010-04-06
Pages 288
Language en
Publisher Three Rivers Press
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

Just when you thought you’d accepted your own mortality . . . Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now: • Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first. • Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space! • Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.” From the Trade Paperback edition.

Welcome to Night Vale A Novel

Welcome to Night Vale  A Novel Author Joseph Fink
ISBN-10 9780356504858
Year 2015-10-20
Pages 416
Language en
Publisher Hachette UK
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE . . . a friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while its citizens pretend to sleep. It's a town like your town, with a city hall, a bowling alley, a diner, and a radio station reporting all the news that's allowed to be heard. It might be more like your town than you'd like to admit. In this ordinary town where ghosts, aliens and government conspiracies are parts of everyday life, the lives of two women, with two mysteries, are about to converge. From the creators of the wildly popular Welcome to Night Vale podcast comes an original mystery of appearances and disappearances about the ways we all struggle to find ourselves, no matter where we live.

How to Fight Presidents

How to Fight Presidents Author Daniel O'Brien
ISBN-10 9780385347587
Year 2014-03-18
Pages 272
Language en
Publisher Three Rivers Press
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea. As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence. And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass. Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.

Great Glowing Coils of the Universe Welcome to Night Vale Episodes Volume 2

Great Glowing Coils of the Universe  Welcome to Night Vale Episodes  Volume 2 Author Joseph Fink
ISBN-10 9780356508634
Year 2016-09-06
Pages 320
Language en
Publisher Hachette UK
DOWNLOAD NOW READ ONLINE

'Hypnotic' NEW YORK TIMES 'Incredible' BUZZFEED 'Brilliant' BOING BOING Downloaded over 100 million times in podcast form, Welcome to Night Vale is now yours to take home in print for the first time. Collecting such fan favourite episodes as 'A Blinking Light Up on the Mountain' and 'First Date', this volume contains the full second season of scripts for the #1 international bestselling podcast, with bonus material including: · Beautiful illustrations by series artist Jessica Hayworth to accompany each episode · Behind-the-scenes commentary from the New York Times bestselling authors · Guest essays by Night Vale performers and notable fans such as Cecil Baldwin (Cecil), Mara Wilson (The Faceless Old Woman), Hal Lublin (Steve Carlsberg) among others · The full script to Night Vale's sell-out live show, 'The Debate' The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe is an absolute must-have whether you're a fan of the podcast or discovering the wonderful world of Night Vale for the first time. (Don't miss Mostly Void, Partially Stars, featuring the very first year of podcast scripts, or Welcome to Night Vale: A Novel.)